Too Cool for School
Hello,
I'm headed back to C-A-N-A-D-A this weekend for a visit. Remember how coming back from Brazil they forgot to give me my I-94? Well it turns out I have 30 days from the time of my last entry to the U.S. to return to Canada and re-re-enter the U.S.. If I wait longer they will make me pay $160 and wait 3-4 months for a replacement. Screw that noise. My advisor is gone for a little while and it's always nice to get home, so I'm taking a long weekend and killing 2 or 3 pigeons with one stone.
So let me catch you up on my life as it has unfolded over the past month or so......
So first off, I went to Brazil. You can read about that just below this post if you want, but it's a ****in' novel so I'll give you the executive summary: Brazil is overrated.
The best new thing in my life is my sweet new hair. That's right - I am now officially a ponytail-sporting bohemian. Some people claim that there is no man more odious than the ponytail man. I have to admit that before I started pulling my hair back into a mighty ponytail I was inclined to agree with them. But my ponytail is different than all the others! It's more of a manly bun really, so lay off.
Let's see, what else is new? We had a big paper come out in Nature Biotechnology. Two other papers where I was a minor contributor have been submitted, so basically my inexorable march towards the Nobel prize continues apace (cough).
Hmmm....surely my life can't be that boring......Oh! My roomate won the housing lottery, so he doesn't have to leave, which is good. Uh...I'm still desirable to women. I can bench press 265lbs. I ran a mile in 4:12 yesterday. I'm one of the alternate astronauts for the upcoming Atlantis shuttle launch. My eyes are a deep, soulful blue. I am 6'2 and 175lbs with no body hair except for the thick luxurious dark ponytail on the top of my head. I was the guy that decided Pluto isn't a planet anymore. I got a raise and leased a Porsche. I'm flying out to Lebanon next month to lead a team of mediators in the ongoing peace negotiations.
I'm pretty close to curing cancer.
Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll pour myself a glass of cognac and read some Camus before I retire for the evening.
I'm headed back to C-A-N-A-D-A this weekend for a visit. Remember how coming back from Brazil they forgot to give me my I-94? Well it turns out I have 30 days from the time of my last entry to the U.S. to return to Canada and re-re-enter the U.S.. If I wait longer they will make me pay $160 and wait 3-4 months for a replacement. Screw that noise. My advisor is gone for a little while and it's always nice to get home, so I'm taking a long weekend and killing 2 or 3 pigeons with one stone.
So let me catch you up on my life as it has unfolded over the past month or so......
So first off, I went to Brazil. You can read about that just below this post if you want, but it's a ****in' novel so I'll give you the executive summary: Brazil is overrated.
The best new thing in my life is my sweet new hair. That's right - I am now officially a ponytail-sporting bohemian. Some people claim that there is no man more odious than the ponytail man. I have to admit that before I started pulling my hair back into a mighty ponytail I was inclined to agree with them. But my ponytail is different than all the others! It's more of a manly bun really, so lay off.
Let's see, what else is new? We had a big paper come out in Nature Biotechnology. Two other papers where I was a minor contributor have been submitted, so basically my inexorable march towards the Nobel prize continues apace (cough).
Hmmm....surely my life can't be that boring......Oh! My roomate won the housing lottery, so he doesn't have to leave, which is good. Uh...I'm still desirable to women. I can bench press 265lbs. I ran a mile in 4:12 yesterday. I'm one of the alternate astronauts for the upcoming Atlantis shuttle launch. My eyes are a deep, soulful blue. I am 6'2 and 175lbs with no body hair except for the thick luxurious dark ponytail on the top of my head. I was the guy that decided Pluto isn't a planet anymore. I got a raise and leased a Porsche. I'm flying out to Lebanon next month to lead a team of mediators in the ongoing peace negotiations.
I'm pretty close to curing cancer.
Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'll pour myself a glass of cognac and read some Camus before I retire for the evening.
posted by Mr. Apple at 9:44 PM
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