Thrilling news.

Do you live in Ottawa? Well then keep your eyes peeled (starting Tuesday) for a 138 lb, long-haired, moustachioed sex machine because I am coming home for a week of sun-tanning and clothes-shopping. Every morning I will fix myself a gin and tonic (on ice), set up a lounge chair in my parents' back yard, strip down to my man-thong, and work on my full-body tan until 12pm. At 12pm I will lunch on cucumber sandwiches and sip mint julips. Then I'll fix myself up, do my hair, pick out a nice outfit, quickly down a scotch and soda, and head downtown for some shopping with my girlfriends!!!! Shopping will go until 6 or 7pm, then we'll break for dinner at a nice restaurant on the market, blast back a few rum and cokes, and then head to Tricia's to get ready for our big night. Tricia will score some yay from her ex and we'll try on our new outfits and get all amped and then go dancing until 3am. On the ride home we'll gossip and giggle about all the creepy guys that tried to hit on us, and then I'll get home and pass out in the bathtub and do it all again the next day. It's going to be soooooo great!

So fun and great, and not the least bit depressing! See you soon!!!!!