This is a blogtatorship

Hello to all anonymous posters! By now you've probably noticed that I've turned on Comment Moderation. Yes - I rule this blog with an iron fist and I shall tolerate no dissension. But oh, wow - you really outdid yourselves with some of the stuff you tried to post. Thanks so much - it was really very classy and witty material, and especially brave of you to send it anonymously. Anyway, this will be the last post regarding this madness; I hope to get back to making fun of jugglers in short order.

But before we all move on, I need to ask - anonymous posters, why do you hate me so much? Is it because I am so fabulous? Are you projecting lingering bitterness from your past onto me? Are you jealous of my carefree life-of-leisure, or my "millions and millions of readers worldwide"™? I only have the vaguest of notions about who you are, so it's anyone's guess. But in looking over your nasty posts and reading-between-the-lines, I'm reminded of the immortal words of the greatest baseball player in the history of the game, Mr. Barry Bonds:

"It's not my fault you don't play baseball."