I am not very good at hockey

I played my first game of the young hockey season tonight and I wasn't at the top of my game. Not to make excuses, but it had been a long while since I had played, my skates were dull, and I forgot to put in my contacts. Also, even though I have a youthful twinkle in my eye and a jaunty spring in my step, I am quite old and creaky. I was hoping to get out and play in a lower-level league before tonight to kind of get back into the groove, but I never got the chance. Damn.

In other news, I have had some very tasteful nude photographs of myself taken. They make wonderful use of shading, colour, and perspective, and are really quite artistic. I have decided not to post them though. I have taken great pains to grow my hair, groom my moustache, and alter my style of dress in order to avoid detection by my many enemies, and I'm not about to risk everything just so you perverts can have a peak at my John Thomas.