Why I am so great
I am no psychologist, but I have dated more than one girl who studied psychology (and also my sister did a lot of psychology courses in university) so I feel eminently qualified to leap head first into the following discussion on cognitive dissonance. From what I understand, cognitive dissonance is when you learn something that doesn't quite mesh with what you think you already know to be true. So you've got these conflicting ideas clanking around your skull, and then you have to kind of adjust your worldview to accommodate and make sense of the conflict.....anyway, I think I'm experiencing a textbook case of cognitive dissonance.
You see, for as long as I can remember, deep in my bones and in every fibre of my being I've known it to be true that I am so great. Not just great, but soooo great. I am not one of those people who think they're so great. I know I'm so great. The only problem is that with each passing year, more and more empirical evidence accumulates suggesting exactly the opposite. Every day I'm surrounded by people who are smarter, faster, stronger, nicer, and better looking than I am. I'm not particularly creative, artistic, athletic, well-liked, or even respected....so how do I square this with the fact that everyone should listen to me and do what I tell them to do? Why, at work, do even pimply-faced undergraduates condescend to me when I should be bossing them around? Why do women in Boston laugh at me or recoil in disgust when they should be throwing themselves at me? My achievements, natural ability, and day-to-day experiences are all completely at odds with what I know to be my own inherent awesomeness. Can you appreciate my dilemma?
But I think I've finally solved the problem. Just now I realized exactly what it is that makes me so damn special. On my blog I have a kick-ass photo of a friggin' GREAT WHITE SHARK EATING A SEAL!
It sure is great to be Mr. Apple. bedtime.
You see, for as long as I can remember, deep in my bones and in every fibre of my being I've known it to be true that I am so great. Not just great, but soooo great. I am not one of those people who think they're so great. I know I'm so great. The only problem is that with each passing year, more and more empirical evidence accumulates suggesting exactly the opposite. Every day I'm surrounded by people who are smarter, faster, stronger, nicer, and better looking than I am. I'm not particularly creative, artistic, athletic, well-liked, or even respected....so how do I square this with the fact that everyone should listen to me and do what I tell them to do? Why, at work, do even pimply-faced undergraduates condescend to me when I should be bossing them around? Why do women in Boston laugh at me or recoil in disgust when they should be throwing themselves at me? My achievements, natural ability, and day-to-day experiences are all completely at odds with what I know to be my own inherent awesomeness. Can you appreciate my dilemma?
But I think I've finally solved the problem. Just now I realized exactly what it is that makes me so damn special. On my blog I have a kick-ass photo of a friggin' GREAT WHITE SHARK EATING A SEAL!
It sure is great to be Mr. Apple. bedtime.
posted by Mr. Apple at 8:54 PM
7 Comments:
I feel your pain, on a different level.
I'm athletic, creative, intelligent, independent, attractive, artistic, adventurous, open minded, and cultured, yet nobody throws themselves at me either. However many people question this, "What do you mean your single?" I didn't realize that i stuttered. 32 and single, living alone with a Jack Russell Terrier is a lonely place. I have no shame.
hmmm....probably you need a kick-ass shark picture on your blog and then things will really start to fall in place for you. Since I put mine up I have received 4 marriage proposals and Benetton and Hummer both offered to sponsor AOA. Also, I grew 2 inches last night and my hair turned blonde. I think you should consider a shark picture cjs.
Where did you get that picture? I love it.
Tex
Can I borrow this picture? Perhaps I will grow large breasts, long slender legs, and an all year round tan.
I may be a lowly and 'pimply' undegrad but I find your evidence compelling. There's nothing quite like a shark eating a seal.
Tex, if I told you then I'd have nothing to live for.
cjs, large breasts and tans are overrated....legs, not-so-much. you may borrow the photo (I grew biceps the size of grapefruits last night)
toni, i did not mean to imply that all undergrads are lowly. you, for example, seem like a lovely and well-mannered young lady and I can tell you are going places. I like your blog too.
Cognitive dissonance is more like when you do something that goes against your thoughts. Usually you settle the cognitive dissonance later by changing your thoughts/opinions/values.
So, you join some stupid ass fraternity and they do shit to you and you hate it, and then later you become one of those jerks who loves his fraternity, b/c you settled the cognitive dissonance of "Why the hell would I do something I hate so much? Oh it must be b/c I LOVE it".
For some reason fraternities are just the best example I can think of.
I do however, think your shark is really freakin' awesome.
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