Thinking of Taking up Cigar-smoking

For the past year I have been extremely health-conscious. I don't eat red meat. I don't eat refined grains. I eat very little saturated fat and no trans-fat. I don't smoke. I run about 30 miles a week. Yeah, I'm one of thoooose guys, and I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps I'm a bit obsessive about it. After all, the last thing a person should do is spend all their time obsessing about staying alive in lieu of actually enjoying life. If a man is successful at developing healthy and positive lifestyle habits (i.e. regular exercise, a generally healthy diet, etc...) then the odd sirloin steak or slice of cheese will surely have zero effect on one's lifespan. So I have resolved to lighten up and try to enjoy life a bit more, but where to start?

I like running, and find it helps my mood and helps me think, so I can't give it up. I already enjoy a drink regularly, but I don't want to up my alcohol intake because I get bad, bad hangovers. I'll probably try to lighten up about the food thing, I mean for Christ's sake I'm a skinny bastard so I could probably stand to gain a bit of weight. But what I'm seriously contemplating taking up is cigar-smoking.

"But Mr. Apple, smoking is the worst thing for your health!?!"

True. But cigar smoking has a certain appeal.

First off, cigar-smoking is far less damaging to the body than smoking cigarettes. The reason is chiefly that, when one smokes a cigar, the smoke is not inhaled into the lungs but rather held in mouth and then exhaled. Further, the adverse health effects of tobacco are minor to non-existent when smoking is an occasional indulgence rather than a daily habit (of course, this is never publicized by public health officials because they don't believe people to be qualified/capable of making rational decisions for themselves). The main risk, as far as I see it, is the risk of addiction. Fortunately, I know from personal experience that I am resistant to nicotine addiction.

Second, smoking can be a very pleasurable experience. Anyone who has ever enjoyed a cigarette knows this. It's relaxing. It aids concentration and contemplation. I even hear it staves of Alzheimers (although I don't actually believe it). Simply put, a smoke can be like a nice juicy, rare steak - sure, it's bad for you, but it can be pretty enjoyable too.

Third, it's a thumb in the eye to the watercress-munching hippies and hateful Cambridge yuppies that plague my neighbourhood. As much as I've enjoyed not smelling like smoke after going out to the pub for a beer with friends, I've always been against the ridiculous by-laws that have banned smoking and infringed on what I see as basic liberties.

Fourth, my apartment still smells like puke. Cigar smoke would definitely be an improvement.