Brushes with Greatness
I urinated beside this man:
My sister Alexis bought me two books by Noam Chomsky for Christmas. I have been reading one of them and it made me think of the time I encountered Mr. Chomsky in real life. Noam Chomsky is a Linguistics professor and works in the same building as me (the Stata Center). One time I was on the ground floor of the Stata Center near the coffee shop and maybe on my way home or on my way in . . . I can't remember. Anyway, I had to take a leak and so I popped into the bathroom. Well who should come in right afterward but Noam Chomsky, and in a terrible breach of bathroom etiquette, rather than using one of the other numerous free urinals in the large bathroom he sidled up to the urinal right beside mine . There we were, Mr. Apple and a distinguished, world famous intellectual peeing right beside each other in uncomfortable silence. I really couldn't stand the tension, and so to break the silence I leaned over and said, "How's it hanging professor Chomsky?" I swear to God, he turned and looked at me and said, "As soon as questions of will or decision or reason or choice of action arise, human science is at a loss." Then he pivoted on his left foot, urinated on my leg, and left the washroom without even washing his hands.
I have had other brushes with greatness that I will share with you at some future date.
My sister Alexis bought me two books by Noam Chomsky for Christmas. I have been reading one of them and it made me think of the time I encountered Mr. Chomsky in real life. Noam Chomsky is a Linguistics professor and works in the same building as me (the Stata Center). One time I was on the ground floor of the Stata Center near the coffee shop and maybe on my way home or on my way in . . . I can't remember. Anyway, I had to take a leak and so I popped into the bathroom. Well who should come in right afterward but Noam Chomsky, and in a terrible breach of bathroom etiquette, rather than using one of the other numerous free urinals in the large bathroom he sidled up to the urinal right beside mine . There we were, Mr. Apple and a distinguished, world famous intellectual peeing right beside each other in uncomfortable silence. I really couldn't stand the tension, and so to break the silence I leaned over and said, "How's it hanging professor Chomsky?" I swear to God, he turned and looked at me and said, "As soon as questions of will or decision or reason or choice of action arise, human science is at a loss." Then he pivoted on his left foot, urinated on my leg, and left the washroom without even washing his hands.I have had other brushes with greatness that I will share with you at some future date.
posted by Mr. Apple at 10:31 AM
2 Comments:
I think Noam Chomsky looks something like Stephen Lewis in the picture you've posted. Are you sure it wasn't Mr. Lewis who pissed on your leg in response to being mistaken for a wanker like Chomsky? I heard those two can't stand the sight of each other.
Dear tabby,
I'm pretty sure it was Chomsky, but Stephen Lewis also urinated on my leg once in Ottawa at some kind of fundraising dinner. I made him pay for the drycleaning though....
by the way, I like your picture (reminds me of Mr. McWhiskers)
yours,
Mr. Apple
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