Juggling is Lame

Hello out there to all you jugglers! I have bad news for you.....juggling is pointless and lame. The other day I was walking through the halls here at school and the juggling club was practicing in the atrium. There they were, a bunch of grown men with these really pained looks of concentration on their faces juggling like 8 balls or bowling pins for a maximum of 4 seconds. Then the balls would fall and they would chase after them and do it all over again. Here is why juggling is lame:

1. girls are not impressed by juggling and there are no juggling groupies. Most things guys do, they do to impress women. Some of those things, like rocking out in a band or playing hockey, might turn out to be fun/rewarding in their own right...but mostly guys want to get good at that stuff because they think it will land them a hot babe. Sometimes it works. But I guarantee you that the best juggler in the world is, and will forever be, a virgin.

2. juggling cannot possibly be fun. how can it be fun? you are repeating the same thing over and over again. you produce nothing. it doesn't appear to be good exercise. so you can juggle 3 balls? big deal. once you've mastered 3 I guess you can go to 4, but so what? It's the same pointless, empty and sad thing.

3. juggling is not entertainment. If I see a juggler, I pause for 1 second and think "wow, that guy must have practiced countless lonely hours to be able to juggle those blocks for 7 seconds." Then I move on because, frankly after that 1 second I've already lost interest. Can you imagine these jugglers forcing their friends and family to watch their juggling shows at Christmas and on special occasions? "OK everybody, I've been practicing all year for this....here I go! Juggling 3 balls!"..................."Now I'll do 4!"................"OK, here goes....FIVE!!!!"................"Now I'll peel and eat an orange with my foot while I juggle!"............"Mrmmph!! (swallowing)......(choking).........."
And the whole time while this guy is tragically choking on the orange and clutching at his throat and dying, his family is asleep because his show was so boring.

4. jugglers wear ridiculous outfits.

5. that about covers it

I'm sorry to be so harsh on you jugglers, but sometimes the truth hurts. Try to find a more rewarding hobby like online poker.