Brushes with Greatness - Part III
I poured this man's wine:
It was at a fundraising dinner for a Liberal party candidate named Ian Murray, who was later forced to resign in disgrace for stalking a woman he'd been having an affair with [edit: in fact, he did not resign in disgrace but rather just lost the election....but he was still a crazy stalker]. Paul Martin was Minister of Finance at the time and I was working as a waiter at the golf club where the dinner was being held. I wasn't supposed to pour his wine, but I ended up at his table and asked him if he wanted red or white. Honest to God he looked at me like I was a cockroach. I can't remember if he wanted red or white, but I remember my asshole boss reaming me out afterwards for having the audacity to serve the great man his booze. I hate Paul Martin and I hate my old boss. Hey Paul Martin, I don't care if you did bring a case of cream soda to my place yesterday for the debate, I hope you lose the election. And hey golf course manager guy, if you happen to read this I hope you're still having a good time at Irish Hills making 14 year-old girls cry and chainsmoking for a living. Get bent, you jerk.
It was at a fundraising dinner for a Liberal party candidate named Ian Murray, who was later forced to resign in disgrace for stalking a woman he'd been having an affair with [edit: in fact, he did not resign in disgrace but rather just lost the election....but he was still a crazy stalker]. Paul Martin was Minister of Finance at the time and I was working as a waiter at the golf club where the dinner was being held. I wasn't supposed to pour his wine, but I ended up at his table and asked him if he wanted red or white. Honest to God he looked at me like I was a cockroach. I can't remember if he wanted red or white, but I remember my asshole boss reaming me out afterwards for having the audacity to serve the great man his booze. I hate Paul Martin and I hate my old boss. Hey Paul Martin, I don't care if you did bring a case of cream soda to my place yesterday for the debate, I hope you lose the election. And hey golf course manager guy, if you happen to read this I hope you're still having a good time at Irish Hills making 14 year-old girls cry and chainsmoking for a living. Get bent, you jerk.
posted by Mr. Apple at 9:57 PM
2 Comments:
Mr. Apple, where are you? The election is fast approaching and I need your insight to make an informed decision. Have you brushed with Gilles or Jim? Why does no one ever talk about Jim? I want to know more about him. What is your insight, Mr. Apple? Give a young ex-pat Canadian lad living south of the border some hope that his mail-in vote will actually make a difference!
Dear anonymous,
Here at AOA we bide our time and wait until the lesser pundits and media outlets have had their say. We wait for the Globe, Post, Citizen, La Presse, and Sun newspapers to announce their endorsements and then, as the senior statesman among opinion-makers, we carefully weigh the issues and weigh in with our measured and, dare we say, weighty opinion. Stay tuned, son.
Yours,
Mr. Apple
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