dental hygienists

Today I went to the dental hygienist. Show me a dental hygienist and I will show you a sadist. Look at the lady in that picture up there. Behold the pure evil in her grinning visage. Sure she's smiling, but her eyes say, "Obey me, or I'll blast your nuts with a million rads from this X-ray gun you little shit."

I have never been to visit a dominatrix, but I imagine the experience is similar. You are strapped in a chair, helpless and confused, while an angry woman wounds you with nasty-looking implements of torture. After sawing and poking and stabbing at your flesh for 20 minutes, she flosses your teeth with 50-pound test fishing line and then starts scolding you because your gums are bleeding:

"You know, worm, if you flossed your teeth regularly they wouldn't bleed so much. You are making mistress Sharon very angry."
"Oh, sorry. I floss about 5-days a week, but I didn't know I was supposed to use barbed wire."
"What's that, slime?"
"Ow Ow Owwww! Sorry sorry sorry, I promise to floss every day!"
"Much better, maggot. See you in 6 months. Kiss my boot on the way out."

Also, they always find some bullshit thing wrong that you have to come back to get fixed. Last time it was wisdom teeth that weren't bothering me. This time it was old fillings that aren't bothering me. Hey shitheads, I live on $1700/month. How many fillings and wisdom tooth extractions do you think I can afford? Shove it up your Gingivae, you leeches.

Finally, I am running salty in poker and am in a bad mood. I therefore decided to cash out and take a break. Poker is for losers and degenerates and I am an upstanding gentleman with many important and busy-type things to do, like write in my blog.

Now bugger off.