17 foods to try before you die...

...according to the Star right here.

I've tried 6, I think. Horse is next on my list.

Disgusting..

So god damned gross.

Stop hovering around my girl you goddamn creepy hippie

"I'm irresistible. Look at me Cat. Turn around. I dance for you. Feel the fire of my loins. Gaze upon me and know the beauty of man in his natural nude state. Behold my pretty bitchin' tattoos and native american accessories. You know you want me....succumb. "

Important Announcement: I Have Purchased a Cellular Telephone

Yes, you read that correctly. After more than 30 years without mobile connectivity, I have finally saved up enough money to purchase a modest cellular phone package. It has changed my life. I look and feel younger. People smile at me more. I have a spring in my step that I haven't had in years. Of course, nobody really calls me, but I am confident that that will change in short order as word spreads. People who don't have cell phones are annoying. Stop inconveniencing the rest of us you Luddites!

I kind of feel like partying

Here is an interesting empirical observation I have made:

The closer a grad student is to graduation, the more likely he or she is to get married. Now of course, as you get older the likelihood that you would be married goes up...but I'm pretty sure grad school amplifies the effect to a huuuuuuge extent. So many friends of mine are married or getting married as they approach the end of grad school. Why? I don't know. I guess when you're finally 100% finished school you feel it's time to move on and get responsible and be an adult and start a life etc... but frankly the sheer prevalence of the effect worries me. I thought I was getting close to finishing, but do I have to marry someone before they let me leave? Or am I kidding myself when I think I can finish in about a year? Is marriage a sign that you're smart and wise and responsible enough to move on? I could be in serious trouble folks.

Don't worry though. I have a backup plan.