It's Wonderful Being Judgemental

Often times when engaged in conversation with someone I'll offer them my opinion about what's wrong with the way they are currently comporting themselves, or give them sober advice about how they should be living their life. More often than not they react badly. "Oh, you're so judgemental!" they'll say, and storm off like a 4 year-old child leaving me standing there completely dumbfounded. Of course I'm judgemental! If you had my moral character and my deep insight into humanity and society then you'd be judgemental too.

By way of analogy, if you had money to invest and Warren Buffet, seeing that you were in posession of little to no financial sophistication, gave you some stock tips, would you get all huffy and tell him to mind his own business? No you wouldn't, would you? You would fawn over Warren Buffet and kiss his ass and beg for more stock tips. If Tiger Woods saw you hacking away in a comical manner on the golf course and offered you advice on your golf swing, would you swear at him and chase him down the fairway with your 5 iron? No, you would ask for his autograph and blush and say "aw shucks" and get your wife to take your picture together and frame it and put it on your mantle and show it to anyone who came to visit. So why, when attempting to be similarly helpful, do I get nothing but abuse? It's hard to say, but I'm not going to let it deter me from my life's work.

Here is a list of some people along with my handy (and incomplete) assessment of their flaws:

Brad Pitt: obsessed with his hair, divorced.
Paris Hilton: engaged in premarital sex (multiple offences).
Tom Cruise: scientologist.
George Bush: documented alcohol user.
Wayne Gretzky: suspected contraceptive user.
Ruth Bader-Ginsberg: nerd.
Britney Spears: nicotine addict.

Didn't make the list? Sorry, I ran out of time. But rest assured no matter who you are there is something about you that I disapprove of.

Peace and Love,
Mr. APple