Hello to All Non-celebrities

Hi, my name is Miss Cantaloupe, and I'm on blog duty tonight. Mr. Apple is out doing important things with important, charming people and in the meantime I'm holding down the fort here doing his laundry and making him a snack for later tonight and also cleaning up a bit.

Actually, my name isn't really Miss Cantaloupe. Mr. Apple made me call myself Miss Cantaloupe....something about "the thematic arc and aesthetic of the blog". I didn't really understand, but Mr. Apple is so smart and great that I always agree to do whatever he says. Anyway, don't tell him I told you, but my name is really Natalie Portman. I'm very famous and pretty. Perhaps you've seen the recent Star Wars movies? I was in them.

Mr. Apple and I dated while I was going to college at Harvard, but when I graduated and moved back to California he stopped calling. It was the saddest time of my life, but now that he's busy with quals he's let me back into his life! I'm so happy! My publicist doesn't like it....something about his mangy beard, crooked teeth, and Party Poker sweaters. But I don't care, I love him!!!! And I'm going to do whatever it takes to show him that we were meant to be together!

Anyway, I better get back to work...Mr. Apple gets mad if I haven't put the dishes away by the time he gets home. Oh darn!!! I was supposed to write a post on being a famous celebrity.

........being famous is ........ awesome!

I feel sorry for non-celebrities.

Bye!