Apologia

Oh my! What an exciting day here at AOA. Two posts down things have become rather heated in the comments section. I'd rather not have to turn Comment Moderation on since a) I'd like to encourage comments, b) I'm not a big censorship-type guy, and c) it's a hassle I don't have time for. So I have edited the offending post in an effort to douse the flames, so to speak. To the two of you who were offended by me using someone's first name in a post, I'd like to reassure you by noting that:

1. about 12 people read this blog
2. of the 12 people who read it, 11 are either family or friends and would know who my ex-gf's son is regardless of whether I used his first name
3. the 12th person neither knows nor cares who KM in Cambridge MA is, let alone who Mike in Philly or Joan in Calgary or Lance Armstrong in Victoria is.
4. it was meant as a completely innocuous post about something that I thought was noteworthy about my day and I didn't mean any harm by it.

I would invite both of you to go away and never come back, secure in the knowledge that never again will I make the mistake of using a first name without said party's express written consent.

Listening to The Tragically Hip makes me homesick

...that is all.

Everyone travels in March

What a rough day. Tomorrow I have to go down to Hyannis on Cape Cod for an academic retreat (i.e. a nerd drunkfest) and I am trying to get a research poster ready. I did a whole bunch of work the past two weeks trying to have some sweet results ready to present. I will spare you the boring details, but suffice to say my fantastic idea didn't work very well and now I am putting together a "future work" poster. This is kind of like a musician releasing a spoken-word CD of him talking about how awesome the songs on his next CD are going to be.

Also, I had an hour-long conversation with my ex-girlfriend's 7-year-old son in Victoria. I guess he was wondering where I've been, so I called him. Since this week is spring break, I would be flying out west to see him and his mom had circumstances been different. It was nice to talk to him, but sad. I can't believe he is 7. His voice is deeper than mine now. He is flying to Ottawa on Tuesday with his grandmother. Have a safe flight Lance Armstrong, and good luck with the candy smuggling operation.

Posting Frenzy

Oh my god....3 posts in like an hour. I am on fire.

I just logged into an OKCupid account that I set up a long time ago. OKCupid is a personals site that was started by a bunch of local yokels, but it's pretty big now. Every once in a while I see if I got any responses. I have received a total of two in about a year. When you read the ad you will understand why:

Angus_r in Cambridge

I think it's funny.....but the joke is probably on me because I am too shy to ever put one of those things up with my own stats and picture etc... since I might get even fewer nibbles than poor angus.

Just for the record, I am 6'4, 185lbs, lean and muscular, and I make >$250,000/year. Also, I like romantic movies, cooking, and giving ugly women foot massages.

I Kill Plants

I kill plants unintentionally. This is not even funny anymore. My mom and dad stopped in to visit on their way home from South Carolina and they saw my office and my mom thought it would be nice to have some plants to brighten it up. So we bought two plants. I swear on all that is holy that the plants were in beautiful shape when they left Monday morning. I was supposed to water them once a week. It has only been two days. I made sure to open the blinds when I left my place so they could get some sun. I've been waiting until it warms up to bring them in to the office because I was worried the cold might kill them. I'm doing everything right, I swear. But one plant is already dead. Not just sick....it is completely dead and wilted and turning brown after just two days. It used to be a big bushy green shamrock type thing, and the only explanation I can think of is that shamrocks die right after St. Patrick's day.....either that or I have a dark and evil gift.

Brained by a giant piece of granite

Oh man. Sometimes you are just walking down the street minding your own business, and you are whistling and listening to your transistor radio and enjoying the sun and then a giant piece of granite breaks off of a building and brains you. Then usually people start screaming and pointing at your crumpled body and they have to call a clean-up crew to mop up the gore and little bits of your skull that are lying around on the sidewalk. Then some hippie wanders by and watches the ambulance and clean-up crew, and he just stands there munching on trail mix saying things like, "far out man!" and "what a trip", and as you're lying there dying with your cerebral cortex and medulla oblongata and cerebellum leaking out onto the sidewalk, you wish you had the strength to tell him to get a job, but you just can't get it out. That happened to me this week and let me tell you, it stunk.

Nice weather

Ah springtime! Spring awakens all kinds of bittersweet feelings. On one hand, the weather is nice, the flowers bloom, the trees turn green, and new life springs up everywhere around us after a long, cold winter. On the other hand every shithead and his brother feels compelled to put their disgusting legs and feet on display at the first sign of melting snow.

Saturday it was 17 degrees Celsius and sunny. Now let's put this in perspective: room temperature is 20-21 degrees. If you worked in an office that was 17C, you'd complain to your boss and wear a cardigan and have a space heater and shiver and turn blue. Yet for some reason, every second nitwit in Cambridge decided that they would wear shorts and sandals. "Look at my legs!", they seemed to be saying, "aren't they shapely and muscular? Look at my wonderful feet! See how I wiggle my gross toes? Am I not footloose and fancy-free? I am a child of nature and reject your constrictive trousers and stockings. Oh, how they bind and chafe! My flesh shall be free to breathe the air and soak up the sunlight!"

Yuck.

No person of substance wears shorts in public unless they are exercising, in which case it is unavoidable. Gentlemen and ladies do not wear shorts, the same way they don't spit on sidewalks or run to catch the trolley train. I can't take a man or woman in shorts seriously. If you're a person who's always wearing shorts, I hate to break it to you but you have absolutely no dignity. Why don't you just get one of those little propeller hats and a lollipop to round out your outfit?

The fact that these speedbags are so damn eager to bust out the shorts and sandals that they'll do it in the middle of March, before God's little creatures have even come out of hibernation, makes it all the more worrisome. If you have any self-respect, for Pete's sake put the shorts and sandals away.

JuggleMania!

No joke: This Saturday, March 18, is JuggleMania at MIT. JuggleMania is when jugglers, who practice every damn Sunday night in the infinite corridor on campus, will put on a show for their many fans. Unsurprisingly, admission is free. I predict 0.5 audience members for every juggler.

Everyone is OK.

Everyone is OK in my books! We're all good people and our feelings and emotions are all valid! I will never judge you! We're all special!

Oh man....

I linked to this blog from my web page, and so I took down some of my best stuff. Well, perhaps "best" is not the right word.....let's just say I took down some of my meanest stuff. Brace yourselves for a kinder, gentler Apples Over America. You never know who might be reading.

holy schnikies!

We made the Research Highlights of BMC Bioinformatics! I'm not sure if this is impressive or not, but check it out before somebody else publishes something and steals my thunder:

BMC loves us

my very own web page

Oh man...I am so excited because I have my very own web page now. It's nothing fancy, but basically is just a web page to increase my visibility for academics and research etc... If I publish a paper, I will stick it on there. If I give a talk, I'll stick it on there. If I pass my RQE I will change my title from the lowly "graduate student", to the lofty "PhD candidate". Frankly I'm not sure if it serves any purpose at all, but if it brings in one or two marriage proposals from women living in impoverished ex-Soviet dictatorships I will consider it a success.

Check it out here.